


Celeste

by edgeinlampshade



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-05 01:11:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18355541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edgeinlampshade/pseuds/edgeinlampshade
Summary: WARNING! - NC-17





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter one:  
A journey I would never forget

 

Today is the day, after weeks of intense interviewing and waiting weeks in between letters it was finally here. It took two plane rides, a bus and a walk to the train station; now I sit comfortably alone, in my cabin.  
I had just received a teaching assistant job in England; there is a special school for kids with magical talents. When I was a little girl living in Southern California I received a letter from this very school. Unable to send me there; my parents ensured that the magical side would be nourished as well as my muggle side. I had been personally tutored by the headmaster and in fact, it was he who asked if I wanted to be considered for the job.  
Now a twenty year old woman I would be going to the very school I had dreamed about my whole life.  
The train stops and so does my heart. Breathlessly I gather up my things and make the long trip down the hall and off the train. When I step off there are two very unusual people waiting there. One whose hair couldn't seem to decide what color it wanted to be and a large man with a face covered in hair.  
"Are you here for me?" I ask, taking a step towards them.  
The girl, whose hair is now a startling pink looks at the man then to the piece of paper in her hand.  
"Celeste, right?" she finally says, cocking her head.  
"That’s me"  
"Oh thank goodness", she sighs quickly then rushes up to me, "it's really nice to meet you. I'm Tonks".  
The two of us shake hands and I glance at the man. Tonks apologizes and introduces him as Hagrid.  
"Are you about ready?" Tonks chirps with a sweet smile. I bite my lip, concerned to how this was going to go. Sensing my confusion, Tonks summoned her broom.  
I had never flown before, I had always been terrified of heights and I was beginning to panic as I straddled the broom and held onto Tonks' shoulders.  
"Hold on" Tonks says, kicking the ground and as the broom rises I shut my eyes tight.  
I open one eye and look down, all I can see are clouds. The wind blows my hair back and strokes my cheeks. Feeling more secure I loosen my grip on Tonks.  
"We’re about to land; hold on it gets a little bumpy". I close my eyes again and don't open them until I feel grass brush my ankle.  
My eyes fly open and see an open field. I stumble off the broom and rub my eyes.  
"Dumbledore wanted me to tell you that there's a staff meeting at 6:30 in his office" Tonks says. "I wish I could stay longer but I have to go to work. It was nice meeting you". And just like that, she was gone. Hagrid ruffles his beard and approaches me.  
"I'll take you if you want, I'm heading there anyways" he says kindly. I accept his offer and follows him up the grassy hill, at the top of the hill she sees Hogwarts for the first time. My jaw drops as I soak in the sheer beauty of the campus.  
Hagrid leads me through the hallways with moving portraits and ghosts that recited poetry. I can't help but get distracted.  
He stops in front of a large metal bird with its wigs curled up.  
"Milky way" he says to the metal bird. Suddenly the wings open and a spiral staircase appear.  
Following this man I literary just met half an hour ago my heart begins to pound in my chest. I know that if I don't keep moving then I'll chicken out. What if they all hate me?  
Hagrid knocks on the door and it swings open. I peer inside briefly and Hagrid tells me to stay where I am until I’m called in.  
"Thank you all for being here tonight" I recognize the voice, it is Dumbledore; the man who taught me everything I knew.  
"There has been a change in staffing this year. Hagrid will be permanently keeping his post as Magical Creatures professor. Also, we welcome Beowolf Beetlebug filling the position of Defense of the dark arts, good luck professor". They politely applauded, not truly caring about the success or downfall of this new teacher.  
"On that note, I have decided to make a new teaching position. I have hired a very bright young woman who will act as a teaching assistant. All staff members will get a chance to receive her help".  
Someone clears their throat in the back, Dumbledore nods and the man stands up.  
"Yes, Severus?"  
"I think I speak for everyone when I say, whom have you hired and what are her qualifications?"  
"Funny you should ask, I'll just let her introduce herself". Dumbledore looks at the door, it opens slowly and I step through the doorway.  
Shyly I tuck my hair behind my ear. I stand, averagely tall; golden hair that is always wavy and dangles below my shoulder blades. My eyes are bright, soul piercingly green.  
"My name is Celeste Parker. As you've probably already noticed I am not British or even from this continent. I am twenty years old and I excel at following directions and I don't crack easily under pressure". I realize halfway through my introduction that my voice was no longer timid.  
"Did you attend school here?" an older woman with a tight bun asks.  
"I did not. I was personally tutored by Master Dumbledore. I have no doubts in my ability to keep up. I'm willing to learn any new techniques that you may have".  
The man Dumbledore had called Severus snorts and crosses his arms doubtingly.  
"I have a schedule of when each of you will have Ms. Parker assist you. You'll be sent an owl a week prior. Thank you for your time and I'll see you at the Sorting ceremony" Dumbledore concludes.  
As the staff clears out I walk up to Dumbledore and he hands me the schedule.  
"Your living quarters is in the second tower, the password is Pighorn" he turns away and sits at his desk.  
"Sir?"  
"Yes?" he answers, looking up.  
"Does…he hate me?" I say gesturing towards Severus who shot her a final dirty look before leaving the office  
“Professor Snape… it's just his nature. Feast and Sorting starts pretty soon, you better get changed".  
"Actually sir, I'd rather explore the castle. If you don't mind, I'd like to figure out where all their classrooms are".  
"Of course. In that case then, Professor McGonagall will be expecting you no later than 7am tomorrow". Dumbledore looks down and begins writing.  
"Thank you sir" I say as I walk out of his office.


	2. Transfigurations

I had kept my word and arrived ten minutes before class started. I had been up all night trying to figure out what she wanted to wear. My American clothes would surely stand out among the uniforms. My hair is up in a messy bun, flowy green blouse, dark skinny jeans and cute black flats.  
In those ten minutes I cleaned and began setting up small creatures on each desk.  
The students came on time, much to my surprise; knowing how lazy teens were back at home.  
While Professor McGonagall gives her lecture on frog warts, I take the opportunity to jot down a few notes. Unexectantly the Professor asks me to come to the front of the class.  
"Yes professor?" she asks, walking up the row of desks.  
"Could you turn this frog into a goblet?" I have a feeling that I was being tested.  
I was never taught the words, I had only learned to do magic without speaking. With a shaky hand I slightly raise my wand and without words the frog transformed into a green goblet.  
I hand McGonagall the glass and the Professor nods in approval.  
"Who is she?" a dark haired girl abruptly asks.  
"Celeste Parker is a teaching aid. Give her the same respect you would give me". After that note she went back to her lecture.  
After that first day I loved working in McGonagall's class, she kept me busy and gave me helpful hints on a few magic spells. School is easy when you aren't a student I think to myself as I walk to my dorm.  
I walk into my dorm, and plop myself on bed. On my nightstand is my teaching schedule. Only a few more days with McGonagall then I would be assisting Professor Snape. My stomach rolls, hating the very thought. From what I had heard, he was the most feared and hated teacher.  
My potion skills were decent enough, how would he treat me? When I had been a student I was always afraid to stand up for myself. This was going to be interesting...


	3. Day one in potions class

I arrive almost twenty minutes early to get a chance to speak to Professor Snape. Instead of having a nice talk he ignores me.  
"Professor is there something I can do to help?" I ask softly.  
"Nothing an American brat could possibly handle. Just stay out of the way" he says annoyingly, standing up and brushing past me.  
My cheeks become flushed as I stroll to the back of the room. My eyes begin to swim with tears. Instead of giving in I suck it up and march right up to Snape.  
“I don't care if you don't like me. Hell, I don't even like you. But as long as I am here busting my ass for you, you will respect me". Right after, I regret immediately what I just said.  
His eyes slit and the vein jumps on the side of his neck. I suddenly feel very small as he angrily comes close to me, so close that our chests touch.  
"Get. Out". As I back up to go out the door I stop and say no.  
He clenches his knuckles until they are white. As he begins to speak I cut him off.  
"I'm not leaving" I lower my voice as students come in, "I can do whatever you ask of me. Just give me a chance".  
Without response Snape walks away and barks at the students to open their books. I notice right away that he was going to transfer this anger he had from me to the kids. With a blank expression and a mono toned voice he tells them to make him a vat of liquid luck and adds that they'll need as much luck as they can get to make it.  
I become confused to why the students are panicky looking through their books. I flip open the book to see what all the fuss is about.  
A light bulb went off in my head; perhaps if I made a perfect brew Snape would begin to respect me just a little bit. Unhurringly I got myself a cauldron and the other supplies. When Snape walks by he unsubtly tells me to give up.  
Towards the end of class Snaps tells them to stop what they're doing. He comes around giving hurtful comments to anyone with a displeasing vat. I am the last to get checked.  
"If this isn’t up to your standards then I'll get out of your hair. If not then I'm staying" I say, giving an ultimatum.  
He gives me a sharp nod and a half smile as he drops a lead into my brew. The little leaf dissolves, his jaw tenses and he walks away.  
Silently I celebrate my victory. The other students staring at me, wondering what I did to make mine so perfect.  
In the days after my first day with Snape he pretends like I didn’t exist and leaves snotty written commands on the little table where I would sit and take notes. Without him knowing I would straighten up his desk and correct a few harsh papers.  
I was emencly thankful that I had never had Snape as a teacher, it was one thing to treat me like this but the way he treats his students is wrong on every level. I had seen so many students cry after one of his famous tongue lashings.  
"I expect three rows of parchment by tomorrow on treating Redpus spider infections" he says in his usual boring drawl. The class groans and he smacks the table hard with his wand, they instantly shut up. Before I can have a word with him he dashes into his office and closes the door. Outside the classroom I hear a muffled cry and the sound of someone running. I glance out the door and sees a very small first year girl running into the bathroom. I follow her and close the bathroom door.  
"Are you alright?" I ask, concerned. The girl is inside a stall; she opens the door and wipes her nose.  
"I'll never do anything right" the little girl says in between sobs. I hug the girl and tell her to sit down. We both sit in the chairs by the sink.  
"Is this about Professor Snape?"  
"Yes".  
"You shouldn't listen to him. You're doing very well and honestly, he's just a bully. Keep your chin up and just do the work. It'll be ok. What's your name?"  
"Nina Clearwater. First year Hufflepuff. Will school always be this hard?" this question makes me smile, Nina reminds me so much of myself when I was younger. Nina thanks me and skips out into the corridor to meet up with her friends.  
I smile again, knowing that the rest of the day belonged to me. The beautiful thing about being a TA is that I only work during that class period then for the rest of the day I was free. During these hours of free time I would take long walks around the castle and into the forbidden forest. I had a lovely spot under the womping willow, for some odd reason the willow tree hadn't tried to ward me off like I had seen it do to others. I suppose we had a mutual understanding, I would sing lullabies to it and it would let me climb its branches. There is a secret door at the base of the womping willow it leads to the shrieking shack. This is where I practice magic and day dreams. No one ever comes there so it was the perfect place to reflect.


	4. Halloween

Last night I went out and bought a bunch of pumpkins and spent the whole night carving various faces. Early this morning, before going to choir class I set them up all around my bed and hung New Orleans style voodoo bottles above my bed. I had been working in Professor Flitwick’s room for a few days now. I graded reports and watched the students when he left the room. I neglected to mention that I could read music, I hadn’t wanted him to think I was trying to take over; he seemed to get…butthurt very easily.   
They began with their daily warm-ups and then to the Hogwarts Alma mater. Mr. Flitwick keeps stopping them and yelling that there is obviously something they’re doing wrong. I let him try to figure it out a few more times and he can’t so I cough quietly to get his attention.   
“Excuse me sir, I don’t mean to be forward but could I hear the baritones sing the last part?” He gives me an irritated look but still cues them to sing the end. That’s when I hear it; someone is flatter than a pancake.   
“What’s your name?” I ask to the tall, thin boy in the middle. He points to himself, making sure I was talking about him and I nod.   
“Neville” he says a little nervously…  
“You’re flat, try raising your eye brows a bit more. It really does help”. I can tell the Professor is very annoyed but even so, when they sang that part again it sounded much better. He dismisses the choir and asks me to come to his office, Oh great… going to get chewed out by an elf…  
“Yes Professor?”  
“What musical experience do you have?”   
“I’ve been playing for most of my life, mostly big bands and musicals. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think I was trying to step on your toes”.   
“Not at all, I’d actually like you to direct a few numbers for a small concert we’re having. I thought I was going to have to cancel because I can’t make it. This solves the problem”. I sigh in relief.   
“When is it?”   
“This evening in the dining hall. It’s a tradition for the choir to sing on Halloween. There will be a rehearsal during lunch today. Do you have conducting experience?” I nod and go on to explain that I had been a director’s assistant. As soon as the excitement wore off I became nervous. I hadn’t conducted in years and who knows what people will say…


	5. That night

As I walk into the dining hall I wasn’t disappointed by the decorations, they surpassed all my expectations. I make my way past the long benches to the front; I had to introduce the choir after Dumbledore gave his speech. I was much too nervous to pay attention what he was saying.   
“And now we have a real treat for us tonight. Please welcome the choir”. They applaud as we all walk up. The students set up on the risers and I stand on my podium.   
“Hello I’m Celeste, Professor Flitwick couldn’t make it tonight. We’ll be starting with Love Potion”. I turn to the choir, raise my arms and gently count off the first song. I had forgotten how much I loved letting the music flow through my hands, I close my eyes and when the song is over I cut off and open my eyes. Professor Snape is looking right at me… Suddenly feeling embarrassed my face becomes flush. I couldn’t wait for the next song to be over so I could go hide behind the crowd of students. Even as I cut off the last song and dismissed the choir Professor Snape was still staring me down. I quickly get down from the podium, bow slightly and send a very obvious stare right back at him.   
The rest of the night was full of dark stories, candy and an occasional scream or two. It was, besides the staring contest Snape gave me, a perfect night. I was even invited to a after party for all the teachers. When all the students returned to their dorms we gathered in the teachers’ lounge. We drank fruity drinks and shared stories about past Halloweens. Snape, of course, was nowhere to be found. I found a vile of confidence, chugged it and decided to find Professor Snape.   
I find him in his office, grading papers. I knock on the doorway and walk in.   
“What are you doing in here?” he asks annoyingly.   
“Just wanted to talk. I know we got off on the wrong foot but I really do want to get to know you”.  
“And what makes you think I care?”   
“I’m going to guess that you are so emotionally distant from people because of something traumatic” I say, taking a few steps towards his desk.   
“How dare you presume anything about me? Get out of my office this instant!” He stands up.   
“You know, threatening would work on some people but I’m pretty determined so, I think not” I get close enough to sit in the chair in front of his desk. He swings around the desk and grabs me by the arm and drags me out. I’m close enough to his body to smell his musky scent, its oddly soothing. I don’t even notice how hard he’s griping my arm; all I can feel is his warm hands. I have the sudden urge to hug him, just to see what would happen. Even if he pushed me away it would SO be worth it to see the look on his face!   
“Do not come in my office again”.   
“Sir, I’m sorry but you’ll have to get used to me. Especially since I’m working in your class tomorrow. Man handling me will get you nowhere and honestly, I’m not above letting Professor Dumbledore know. I’m not as annoying as you think I am. I’m not asking you to bare your soul to me, just talk to me like a human being. Ok?” As expected he just walks off without answering me. This is going to be harder than I thought…


	6. The next day

Same drill, getting snapped at and cleaning poison off the floor. Secretly I give hints to kids that are struggling to understand the material. I’ve gotten a few notes saying I’m really cute, I just smile. After class I follow Snape into his office before he closes his door, I sit down and brush off my lap.   
“What makes you tick?” I ask.  
“People like you…” he says in his usual monotone voice.   
“What do you think is going to happen if you drop the Im-an-asshole act?” He ignores it. “Fine if you’re not going to talk then I’ll just talk. So I’ve been missing my family a lot lately, I’ve never been away from home during November. We’ve been keeping in touch obviously but it’s hard to not have them here for my birthday”. I see his eyes glance up at me for a split second then they go back to reading. “It’s on Friday if you’re wondering”.  
“I wasn’t…”  
“You know? I don’t have a single friend here. I just thought you of all people would understand what it’s like to be alone. I’m sorry I mistaken you for someone who could care…” I stand up, feeling defeated. I knew it was going to be hard but all this talk about family and loneliness is making me feel pathetic. I leave without another word, walking to an empty corridor and letting my tears flow freely; I hope no one sees me. I hear a foot steps behind me, I quickly wipe my tears and turn around; it’s Snape.   
“I need help reorganizing my personal potion stash, if you’re interested” he says, crossing his arms. Is he making an attempt to be nice?   
“Yes sir”. I hold tears, not wanting him to see me cry.   
“I’ll see you on Friday…” he says then abruptly walks away. Yeah I don’t think he’s doing it to be nice…


	7. The ball

First thing in the morning I throw away the rotting pumpkins around my bed and go straight to the owlery, I send my letter to my siblings and parents. Then I go to the great hall for breakfast, I sit with Professor McGonagal. A few students come up to where I’m sitting and hand me small gifts, wishing me a happy birthday. They blush when I thank them; I have a feeling they have a bit of a crush on me. It’s pretty cute.   
The mail comes in, owls dropping packages on the tables. Three brown paper packages land right in front of me. One from my parents, one from brothers and one from my sister. I read through the letters, they all wonder how I’m doing and if I have acquired a British accent yet. My parents gave me a box full of framed pictures. I smile, remembering every memory that was captured. I gather up my gifts and go back to my dorm; I set up all the pictures and lay in bed. I’m finally 21 years old.   
On my night stand is a letter from Snape asking me to be in his office at 8pm sharp. Well that’s a buzzkill… I’m so thankful I have today off so I can go out and do something. I figure I’ll go to the pub in Hogsmade and see what interesting people I meet.   
At four I make the long walk to Hogsmade, dressed cute and comfy. I want to see how many looks I get. Inside the pub are four shrunken heads singing and large men who are way too drunk to function. I order the pub’s special and take it back to a small table in the back; I grit my teeth and drink it quickly. It tastes awful. Ironically I laugh and wash out the flavor with some butterbeer. After a few hours of talking to random people and learning that people are just plain insane when they’re that drunk. It’s pretty funny, especially when a few guys got on top of the tables and danced. I check my watch, I should be heading back. Gotta change then go to Snape’s office.   
Even though it was a drag to do work related things on my birthday, somehow I didn’t mind as much because it was with him. Wow…did I really just think that? He’s old enough to be my father…I shake my head, trying to get the thought out of my head.   
Once back in my dorm I take off my coat, fix my frizzing hair, throw on a bit of lip gloss and walk to his office. He’s there, as always, sitting at his desk.   
“What would you like me to do sir?” I ask, digging my cold hands into my pockets.   
“I need you to re-label all these then put them in order of most fatal to least, think you can handle that?”   
“When I’ve finished what would you like me to do?” He gives me the we’ll-talk-when-you’re-done-look.   
I breeze through the work with ease but begin to slow down on the last two bottles just to stay a little longer. I can feel his eyes burning into the back of my head. I wish he would just say something, anything. So I decide to do it for it.  
“It was my birthday today” I say, placing a bottle on the shelf.   
“And how old does that make you? 15?” I know he’s mocking me. But I’ve discovered he may have a sense of humor.  
“No actually, 21”, I put the last bottle on the shelf and turn around to briefly see his eyes not on my head but on my back side. Of course was no longer looking when I turned completely around. Was he really looking at my butt?... I must be mistaken, he couldn’t possibly be.   
“What else did you want to do?”  
“I think that will be all Ms. Parker”.   
“Could I just stay here a little longer?” I know the answer but I still have to hope.   
“Absolutely not. See you tomorrow”.  
“Please call me Celeste” I say as I walk out. I really do hope he does, I wonder what it sounds like when he says my name.   
The next day I still can’t get it out of my mind, I mean come on… I just admire him, nothing more.   
“Ms. Parker?.. Are you quite finished day dreaming?” I hear him say as I snap back to reality.   
“I’m sorry sir…” I go back to sorting through recipes and taking notes. Despite how rude he is to me I think I can crack him, he seems like someone I can tell a really big secret to… Although…I’m sure if I’m ready to. I wish I could, I have been keeping it a secret for years and it’s been eating me up inside. I was in the perfect place to let it be known, maybe there are others like me. I make up my mind; I’m going to tell him. After class I come to him and ask to speak to him in private. We go to his office and close the door.  
“There’s something I’ve wanted to get off my chest since I was 13. I’ve had this…ability as long as I can remember but I only recently got it under control”.  
“Spit it out already Ms.Parker”.  
“I think it would be better to show you…” I snap my fingers and a small flame floats above my pointer finger. “I didn’t used to have this much control over it”.   
“Is that it?...” he asks, bored.  
“I can fully engulf myself in fire without hurting myself”. He stands up and pulls me down the hall to Dumbledore’s office. So much for having a nice conversation. Snape explains what I had told him.  
“When did you discover this?” he asks, softly. Not angry but curious.   
“I’ll show you…” I touch his shoulder and give him the memory. When he comes back from it I silently tell him not to tell Professor Snape, he nods.   
“We’ll talk further about this tomorrow Ms.Parker”. Snape begins to object but Dumbledore cuts him off and asks him to leave. 

Chapter eight:  
Tea and the Yule Ball

 

 

Dumbledore asked me to give a lecture on my ability, anyone can come and hopefully a few kids who have similar abilities will be enlightened. I and Snape hadn’t talked since he found out about what I can do. I didn’t even want to try, if he wants to talk to me then he will.   
During my first demonstration I made fire balls fly across the room and in the next lecture the class doubled. It seemed like everyone wanted to learn about it, even a few teachers. I even saw Snape hiding in the back. Afterwards I joined McGonagal for tea; they were discussing the plans for something called the Yule ball and how anyone who was available to work on it backed out at the last minute.   
“Excuse me?” they look up, “sorry, what’s the Yule Ball?”  
“It’s a dance” McGonagal says curtly.   
“Would you mind if I helped? I was on the planning committee in college” I cross my fingers in my mind, hoping she would say yes. It would be the biggest event I’ve ever helped with.   
“We’re going to need a bit more than just help Ms.Parker”.  
“I’ll do anything” I say a little too eagerly than I had intended.   
“We need someone to head up the whole project” she says with a sigh, putting down her tea cup and gliding towards the door.  
“I can do it”. She turns around, pushes up her glasses and fixes the angle of her hat.  
“Do not let your other duties be affected. If there is anything you need, you know where my office is. On the 30th there will be a special class on the appropriate dancing technique, all staff as well as students are required to come”.


	8. 'Tis the season

Chapter nine:  
Lecture

 

 

The month was almost over and my class had gotten so large that I had to teach in the Great Hall. I was no longer afraid to speak in front of large crowds, over the weeks I had gotten used to any B.S a student threw at me.  
“How do we gain control of our abilities? Well, easier said than done. It took years for me to understand my gift and to realize that I didn’t need to let it control me, I needed to control it. Emotions can get in the way of this; to control your emotions is to control your dark passenger. Every one of us has a dark passenger and all of us need to learn to keep the beast at bay”, I look up to see Professor Snape, standing menacingly at the back door, “Remember the key to control is understanding your dark passenger. That’s all for today, we won’t have another class until the 1st of January”. I shuffle my papers into a pile and walk carefully to Snape, I feel almost giddy. Hoping he would say I was doing a good job.   
“Hey, I was wondering. Are you going to the dance?” Oh god I am I doing what I think I’m doing?...  
“Unfortunely I am chaperoning. If it were up to me we wouldn’t have a …dance…”  
“Oh ok… What did you think of the lecture?”   
“Boringly obvious that you wanted to share your life story, I give you credit for stopping yourself a few times”. I take a deep breath; I won’t take anymore of this.   
“Well thank you for making me feel like shit, I bet you really inspire students to do their best when you talk to them like that. Why don’t you get off your high horse and see that you’re no better than anyone else”, I spin around and begin to walk away when I stupidly decide to throw in one last comment, “just because you’re handsome doesn’t make it ok to tear me down”. Regret fills me up as I walk as quickly and gracefully as I can. Did I seriously just call Professor SNAPE handsome? I can’t even imagine what he could have possibly said to me if I had stayed any longer. I need a drink…

 

 

 

Chapter ten:  
Tis the Season

 

 

The dance class was as awkward as I thought it was going to be, it reminded me of junior high school where everyone was afraid of everyone. The boys think girls are annoying and girls think guys are stupid. The teachers were ten times worse; they wouldn’t even talk to each other! While McGonagal explains the dance moves I think about if my package had arrived yet, my mom had sent over a dress for me to wear. I hadn’t even asked, it’s like my mom just sensed that I needed her help on this.   
When class is over the teachers stay behind for me to give them the details on the dance and what things I needed them to get done.  
“Ok everyone! I decided that since the dance is traditionally to celebrate friendship that the theme be a winter wonderland. My vision for this is to make the décor look as seasonal as possible without looking cheesy. I’m talking white and silver, hints of blues and golds. I’m going to need a few teachers to bewitch the ceiling to look like a starry night”. I go over a few more details and realize Professor Snape hadn’t been here the whole time, was he avoiding me?


	9. Winter wonderland

Chapter eleven:  
A winter wonderland

 

 

My package arrived just in time for the dance. First thing in the morning I tried it on to make sure it fit then went down my check list of things for the dance. The room of requirement was already turning into what I had pictured. After setting up the tables and table settings I hand the rest off to McGonagal and run to Professor Snape’s class, I’m late!  
“I see you’ve finally decided to join us Ms.Parker”.  
“I’m sorry Professor… I work half an hour after class to make up for it”. Surprisingly I didn’t get more rude comments back; instead he nodded and went back to his lecture. All throughout class I couldn’t focus, I was so excited for the dance. Except…What was I going to do there? Hanging out with students would be inappropriate and teachers…blah. Oh well, it’s a good reason to do something different.   
“What would you like to do Professor Snape?” He is setting potions on the shelf.  
“You are dismissed…” He says, not turning around.  
“Sir?” I’m so confused, I thought he was thoroughly enjoy me work extra.  
“You heard me; go before I change my mind”. Without hesitation I sprint out of class to my dorm. I already see students in their beautiful dresses and sharp dress robes.  
In my dorm my dress is draped over the end of my bed. It’s deep purple; full length with an off shoulder strap. My mom’s note in the package was not to steal too many hearts. I miss her so much… I zip myself up, quickly curl the ends of my hair, and apply some makeup. My high heels are plain black and open toed. I look down at my little toes and wiggle them, I’m so glad I painted them blue. I take a final look in the mirror, push up the ladies and take a deep breath. As I walk down the halls I get a few looks, I take their stunned silence as a compliment and keep on truckin’.   
I wonder what Snape would be wearing…   
I’m approaching the room of requirement and as I step in I’m thrushed into a winter wonderland. It was everything I had hoped it would be and more. Several people compliment the job I did on the dance and told me how beautiful everything looked. All I could think about was where is Snape? As I walk down the stairs I stop in my tracks, there he is and if that wasn’t bad enough…he was looking right at ME! I tell myself not to be shy, to go down there and talk to him…I just hope I don’t trip…  
“You clean up real nice Professor” I say with a coy smile, I note that he’s wearing what he always wears but still…at least he showed up. Before he can say something snotty I cut him off. “And how do I look, sir?” I come a little closer, tempting him. He clears his throat and backs up a little.  
“Stunning…for a muggle born”. I can see he’s trying really hard to insult me, HA it won’t work.   
“I’m going to take that as a compliment. Do you want to dance?”   
“I don’t dance…”   
“Fine by me, you can just stand there and I’ll dance around you” I laugh, knowing how much that would embarrass him. “Oook…what does a teacher do at an event like this?”   
“Keep these hormone infested adolescents from flaying at each other every chance they get”. He says, crossing his arms.  
“Hey…you were them at one point. Do you want to do something after this? We could talk about all the things you hate” I smile, touching his arm for a split second. He doesn’t answer so I just throw an idea out there. “Maybe we could ditch a little early and go to the clock tower,” Please say yes pleaseeeee…  
“I don’t think that would be appropriate”. Bull….  
“Ok have it your way but if you change your mind I’ll be there around eleven. Well I better circulate, have a nice evening”. Like hell he’s going to come but so worth a try. I walk away, grab a drink and join a group of students.   
I got asked to dance by so many people and to be polite I danced with all who asked. Might as well but when one kid put his hand on my butt I had to smack him up a bit. There were too many slow songs and all the couples would dance together while single lonely people danced in groups or alone. I took the opportunity to step outside for some air.   
I grab a glass of water; I almost choke on the water from laughing. Snape is pulling kids apart and chewing them out. The looks of fear on their faces is almost priceless. I guess I was standing out there too long and was flooded by a few of my students. I check my watch, is it really ten thirty already? I excuse myself from the conversation and walk straight to the clock tower. I look out of the window onto the snow capped court yard. I sit on the ground, my purple dress pools around me. I pull up my dress and run my fingers through my hair. I hope he comes, I really do…  
11:30: Maybe he’s just late…  
12:45: Did I tell him what time to be here?  
1:15: …  
3:00 I guess he isn’t coming…   
I begin to fall asleep, too tired to walk to my dorm. I’ll just have to wake up early and go back to my room before any students see me. I fall deep into sleep until I feel a breeze, someone opened the door. I hear footsteps and shut my eyes and tell myself I’m imaging it. I open my eye a crack, its Professor Snape. He’s leaning on one knee, looking down at me. He brushes hair from my face and tucks it behind my ears; I feel warm breath on my face then a short warm kiss on my cheek. I can’t believe he kissed me! I’m much too tired to enjoy it and I fall back into sleep.


	10. 8am alarm

I jolt up, I’m still in my dress but…I’m in my bed. How did I? I stand up suddenly and feel my cheek, was it real? Was what happened real? I smile then realize I need to be in Snape’s class in twenty minutes. I wash my face, throw up my hair in a high pony tail, slap on a little make up and put on a red sweater and my skinny jeans. As soon as my shoes are secured on my feet I rush to his class. Thank GOD I’m not late. I run around the room setting up the lab, when I’m finished I knock on Snape’s office door. No answer.  
“Professor?” No answer… “Sir everything is all set up, let me know if you need anything”. Class is supposed to start soon, where is everyone? Ten minutes late kids start coming in, looking extremely tired. Suddenly Snape’s door slams open and he angrily walks to the front of the room and starts yelling about being late and gave them a bunch of assignments.  
“But sir, Christmas break starts tomorrow…” A kid bravely says.  
“And you think that excuses you? I expect four rows of parchment on black winged newts on my desk first thing January first. No exceptions”. A few kids moan loudly and he adds on an additional assignment. Honestly they had it coming, complaining never helps. They finish their labs and lectures and when class is over they happily leave the classroom.   
“Where do you go during the holidays, sir?” I ask, sitting down on top of the table.   
“No where”.  
“So you stay here?” he nods.  
“Maybe we could hang out”.  
“Aren’t you going back to the mother ship?...”  
“Actually…I was supposed to but I couldn’t really afford it…But it is ok, Hogwarts is pretty magical. No pun intended”. It really wasn’t ok… “I think this will be the first holiday away from home…” I clear my throat and hop off the table.  
"Well I better get to McGonagals; we're making Christmas ornaments from flies. I suppose I'll see you around the castle, Merry Christmas sir" I say, walking out the door.  
The rest of the day was filled with Christmas related assignments. I made a few lights levitate and a mini snow man dance. Everyone was pretty happy to be going home for the break. Even most of the teachers were going back home, everyone except me and Professor Snape and a few students. The thought of spending Christmas alone made me sad.  
At the end of the day I dress up in layers and walk down to Hagrid's house. I need some ideas on what to get Professor Snape. Hagrid greets me with a smile and asks me to come in and sit down. He hands me some hot pumpkin juice.  
"I was wondering if you knew where to get a giant Venus flytrap, from the African region".  
"What for?" he asks, taking a drink.  
"I was planning on giving it to someone for Christmas". He goes on to tell me about how to take care of them and what they eat and lets me know that he can get one for me before the week was out. I thank him for the pumpkin juice and all his help and wish him a Merry Christmas.  
I wave goodbye to students getting on Hogwarts express and then go back to my dorm to snuggle up with a good book. I strip off my sweater and kick off my boots and climb into bed, it’s only eight but I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than lay here. A stack of letters are piled up on my night stand, they’re from my family and friends. My mom is concerned about me being all alone and my dad wants me to run naked through the castle just because I can and my siblings are wondering how many dates I’ve gone on. Unless you count me falling asleep and dreaming Snape kissed me then none. My mom even sent me a list of things I could do to make it feel more like home, first thing on the list was to get and decorate a tree. I look outside my window and pick out a small one in my mind, I am much too lazy to cut it down and carry it up myself so I let magic do it for me. I stand the little tree in a bowl of water and trim the edges.   
With the letters there’s a box of ordainments from home, I string the lights and hang all the decorations and at the bottom of the bag was my stocking, the one my mom had made for me when I was little. I hold it close, it still smells like home and I tack it carefully on the foot of my bed. I check a few more things off the list then crawl back into bed.   
The next morning I write detailed letters to my family and tell them every adventure I’ve had so far. After, I look on the list and decide that I’ll do a few things today. Next thing on the list is to make a ginger bread house; I haven’t made one of those since I was ten! I wash up and throw on some clothes and walk to Hogsmead to get some supplies. To my relief I didn’t see anyone I knew. I got a drink, toasted to the guy with no arms and one eye at the bar and then went on back to my dorm. I got a little carried away and made an entire ginger bread scene, with a few decapitated ginger men and ginger strippers. Christmas Eve was only a few more days; it still didn’t feel like Christmas.   
A dark brown owl flies into my room and drops a letter on my head, it’s from Hagrid letting know the Venus flytrap was ready for me to pick up. Outside of his house it’s sitting in a large flower pot, its head is huge and teeth short and sharp. It’s black with dark purple leaves on its stem. A note attached to it tells me how to take care of it and what Hagrid named it. Carefully I bring it back to my room, I’m too afraid to sit near it because it keeps snapping at me. I read the note; he suggests that I give him a candy cane. I guess he likes sugar.  
Try to throw it into his mouth in case he’s bitey.   
PS. His name is Brent. You can call him that, he’ll respond  
PPS. He gets really cold at night  
“Ok big boy let’s try this” I say, unwrapping a candy cane and tossing it cautiously into his mouth. I swear after he swallowed that he started to purr. I sit down on my bed and write the note I would attach to Brent.

Professor,  
This big guy reminded me of you. His name is Brent and he loves candy canes. I figured you would appreciate the poisonous qualities in his leaves as well. Merry Christmas Sir. I’ll be spending Christmas Eve in the forbidden forest, please join me if you wish.   
All the best  
Love,  
Celeste Parker 

I tuck the note in the flower pot and stroke his stem. I’m too afraid to give it to him in person so I’ll wait until midnight and leave it inside his office.


	11. Christmas eve

My friend Raven sent me incense to burn tonight; she had been a dedicated Wiccan most of her life and often told me that as a witch I should be Wiccan as well. At least she sent me my favorite scents, lemon and pumpkin spice.   
I had begun making dough for pizza crust and cookies last night, even though I’m away from home don’t mean I can’t stick to some old traditions. I’ve known for a long time Santa wasn’t real but I think it would be a shame not to put some cookies out anyways, maybe a ghost will take them.   
My room is all decked out with garland and lights, my mom sent the traditional Christmas Eve pj’s. It’s a cute top with purple plaid, flannel bottoms. I lay them out on my bed so I’ll be ready to jump into them when I get back.   
I pull the pizza dough from the fridge and flatten it on a cookie sheet, I curl up the edges and sprinkle cheese and pepperoni’s on top then I put my hand firmly under the cookie sheet. In a few minutes my pizza is perfectly crispy. I sit it down to cool then do the same thing to the cookies. While the pizza is still cooling I decorate the cookies and place them on a plate next to my bed. When the pizza is finally ready I gobble it down and think, what is Snape doing right now? After I’ve had my fill I put on my coat and scarf and put all my incense in my purse. Now off to the forbidden forest.   
I set myself up against a large tree and light my incense. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, I think about my family and I think about Professor Snape. Suddenly I have the urge to sing Christmas songs loudly and obnoxiously, as I open my mouth to belt out Rudolph the Red nose reindeer I hear the bushes rustle and Professor Snape emerges. In a panic I put out my incense, stand up, brush myself off and fix my hair.   
“Merry Christmas, sir”.   
“So you left me that thing”. I laugh, and cross my arms.  
“Brent, sir. Not my choice, that was his name when I got him”.  
“And why does…Brent…remind you of me?” He asks, wrapping his cloak over his chest.   
“I’d rather not say…” Ok Celeste ask him…ask him if that was him in the clock tower, “Sir there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you… Did you take me back to my room that night, after the dance?”   
“I noticed you didn’t go back to your dorm. It would have been irresponsible of me to leave you there”. I can tell he’s getting uncomfortable.   
“Ok… so, one last thing. Did you kiss me?” His jaw clenches hard and I can almost hear him grind his teeth. “I felt it”.  
“You must have been imagining it”.  
“I don’t think so, sir. If I had imagined it, it would have been on my lips instead of my cheek. So, I’ll ask again…did you kiss me?” I cross my arms; my heart is pounding hard waiting for his answer. Instead he comes up to me fast and pushes me against the tree and kisses me hard on the lips. At first surprise kept my eyes opened and as I relaxed I closed my eyes, before I knew it he broke away from me. He begins to walk away; I see embarrassment in his movements.   
“Severus!” I say a little louder than I wanted. I’ve never said his first name before, not even to myself. He doesn’t meet my eyes; he just brushes the hair from his eye and disappears into the night.   
I’m in total disbelief that this really happened; I really thought for sure he hated me. I’ve decided not to look too far into it; whatever this was I was going to enjoy it for what it was.   
After standing there stunned for the longest time I go back to my dorm and pour a glass of milk for Santa. Merry Christmas...


	12. Christmas morning

I'm awakened by the sound of an owl flying into my room. Several heavy packages are dropped on my stomach. OW. I rub my eyes and sit up. I get out of bed and slip on my purple monster slippers. The cookies and milk seem to be gone and there’s an envelope in my stocking, how curious… I open the envelope; it’s a round trip plane ticket! Who could have done that? Maybe my parents had sent it and an owl dropped it into my stocking… Hmm…   
I begin opening my gifts and letters. My parents sent over some new clothes for the cold season, my oldest brother sent an IOU, my younger sister thought I absolutely needed some new books in addition to a “sex bible”, and my little brother got me some voodoo dolls he got in the French Quarter. I missed them all so much… My older brother, James I hadn’t seen for a few years since he and his wife moved to New York. He was a guitarist and his wife, Star was a sign langue translator. David, my little brother graduated from high school a few years ago and moved out of state for college; he now lived in Louisiana playing football. My little sister is a junior in high school; Jamie was the super smash champion of the school and took great pride in her boyishly short hair. I think I miss her the most.   
I take a long hot shower, dry my hair, apply some make up and put on the new clothes my folks got me. Suddenly feeling very hungry I leave my dorm to grab some eggs from the great hall. The kitchen is entirely empty and my stomach groans in disapointnment.I guess I’ll have to go out to eat. There’s a place that not a lot of people know about a little past Hogsmead, I heard a really drunk guy talking about how great the fish was there. When I find the place it’s completely hidden among the other shops and there is no sign. I come in, sit down in the corner and order. While sipping my lemon tea I look over to see Professor Snape sitting alone. Ok Celeste…Don’t go over there…wait until he makes eye contact with you…  
I can’t stop looking over at him though and not once does he look up from his newspaper until my waiter trips and spills hot tea all over my right leg. I try not to make a big deal out of it, especially since Snape looked over. I dab the wet spot with a napkin, it begins to dry but the hot pain lingers.   
After I compose myself I get up and go to his table.   
“Hello, Professor” This is all I could manage to say through my gritted teeth.  
“Parker…” He’s looking at his newspaper. I look down at his coffee and touch the side of the cup.  
“Your coffee is cold. Let me…” I say as I touch the side again and warm it up.  
“Looks like you’re good for something after all”.   
“Would you mind if I sat here with you?” He’s gonna say no, no doubt but I still needed to ask. But suddenly he nods and I hesitate for a moment then go grab my stuff and set it back down on his table. I decide to not take my chances in saying something to annoy him so I stay quiet and eat.   
“Surprising…usually you would be ranting on about who knows what by now”, he says glancing away from his paper.  
“I figured since you were nice enough to let me sit here that you would appreciate the silence”. I say after taking another drink of my tea. The spot on my leg is still burning so badly that I begin to tear up.  
“What now?” He says annoyed.  
“I’m sorry, my leg just burns. I can’t seem to remember the spell for burn relief… I’ll be fine I’m sure it isn’t that bad”. Snape puts down his paper and pulls out his wand. He mumbles something then lightly touches the spot on my leg and the pain goes away.   
“I need some help tonight” he says, putting away his wand.  
“With?”  
“That thing”.  
“Brent”.  
“…Brent…won’t eat”.  
“Did you pet it?” He looks at me annoyed and I already know the answer. “Ok I can help, what time?”  
“No later than six” he folds up his newspaper and walks out the door. Well at least I got him to eat lunch with me…

 

 

Around 5:30 I was already waiting outside his classroom and when he finally showed up he unlocked the door without a word. As soon as he turned on the light, Brent started to make cooing sounds.   
"So what's the problem?" I ask while petting Brent's head.   
"He won't eat". I pull a candy cane from my jacket pocket and gently open Brent's mouth. I place it in his tongue and he closes his mouth, when he swallows I pat him on the head.   
“Seems like he's fine, professor". Was there an alternative motive for having me here? I really hope he kisses me again. I wonder if he'll even make a move.   
"Well he wasn't eating earlier..." I sit down on top of his desk and cross my legs.  
"Can we talk about what happened last night?"   
"It was nothing". He says pacing around the room.   
"All I want is to understand what this is". I say trying not to push the subject too hard.   
"There is no...This. It was a brief lapse in judgment". Inside I smile; he’s really trying not to be vulnerable.   
"Well...what if I want something like that to happen again". I say, sliding off the table and coming near him. He walks away from me and sits at his desk.   
"It won’t, put it from your mind".   
"So you can't be tempted?" I say sensually, drawing closer to him.   
"No..."   
"Not even when I do this" I say leaning in and placing a soft kiss on the side of his neck.   
"No. Now leave". He gets up and goes up the stairs.


	13. Next term

Besides all the confusing sexual tension and the wonderful but short kiss I received the rest of break was pretty boring.  
    When school started up again kids came back completely rested and with Snapes essay in hand. I made a habit of watching quidditch practice. It was just like soccer back home minus gravity of Course.  
    Friday was Hufflepuff VS Ravenclaw and the bets were on. I walked by groups of students placing bets on Clearwater's bad knee and so an so's clumbsyness. I'm not entirely innocent; admittingly I made a few bets. My money was on Ravenclaw and their unbeatable keeper. Back home I never was interested in sports but this felt completely different. I can see how much fun these kids had and how much support they get from teachers.  
    Instead of working in classes today I cleaned all the classrooms and graded papers. Two very happy students came running to greet me.  
    "Ms. Parker!"  
    "Hey!" I laugh, "Why so happy?"  
     "Professor Snape canceled that essay! Thank Merlin b'cuz I didn't even write it!"  
    "Wow! That's pretty surprising!" I'm pretty much shocked. This was completely out of character.  Professor snake was always adamant about his essays, he even loved the expressions on the kid's faces when he assignment one. What's going on with him?...  
    Ever since break ended I haven't been able to concentrate, I'm pretty sure all the students feel me on that one. Thank goodness I have something to look forward to; since I had been so busy last term I hadn't been able to attend a quidditch match. I guess a student had fainted mid-air one year. The students thoroughly enjoyed telling me about all the accidents involved. Like this year during tryouts when a kid trying out for keeper basically spaced out and when he didn't get the position he threw a little bitch fit.

 

 

After lunch was the big game, some students even painted their faces with the team colors. I had a hard time figuring out where to sit, do I sit with Dumbledore? Or either one of the screaming team houses? I decide to go neutral and sit with the Slytherin house, surprisingly I'm greeted happily by a few students ad they beg me to sit with them.  
    "So who do you want to win?" Brandy Periwinkle asks me.  
    "I'm actually just spectating, doesn't really matter to me".  
    "This 7th year in Ravenclaw died a few years ago. Pretty tragic stuff..."  
    "How did he die?" I ask, curious.  
    "No one really knows for sure" she answers mysteriously.  
    "Hey where's Draco?" Brandy’s friend leans over and asks. She shrugs and explains that she hasn't seen him since school started again.  
    A dark haired Ravenclaw scores and a half an hour later they were dominating the board; 50 to 30. From where I'm sitting I can clearly see the little golden snitch buzzing over the crowd yet, the seekers from both sides are completely unaware.  
    This little golden ball buzzes over to me and hovers over my shoulder. The people around me stare and as brandy tries to touch it, it moves away quickly. Behind me someone clears that throat, as if I should tell the teams were the snitch is. I turn around to see Professor Snape in his thick, black winter coat.  
    "Does this have a name?" I say, stoking the wings.  
    "No..." he looks at me like I'm stupid. Sorry but the thing moves so it needs a name and I don't care what people think.  
     "Ok I'll name it then, how about Sir Grommet?"  
    "That’s ridiculous..." he says with a huff.  
    "Oh so you do care?" I say turning completely around.  
    "Not in the slightest..."  
    "Fine, his name is Siddious. Sid for short", I call his name and he hovers over my lap. It's almost like he understands me.  
    When the match is over Hufflepuff storms off in defeat and my new little friend follows me to my dorm. Knowing the little snitch is a huge part of the game I make a point of explaining what happened to Professor Dumbledore. He said I could keep him because of his attachment to me.  
A little while longer then I’m back to work, doing a few lectures and more grading. Some students even told me that my class was the most fun they had ever had during school. It was nice to know that I could still teach but also be assessable to the students. I remembered how hard it was to talk to teachers. As I’m packing up Professor Snape walks in and hands me what he needs grading, our hands touch briefly and he drops the papers, looking as if he had gotten electrocuted.  
“I got it” I say, kneeling down and scooping up the pile of papers. I look up and catch a glance of his eyes…God he looks so good… I wish for a few minutes I could look into his eyes long enough to really tell what color they are, I’m guessing brown because they’re always so dark but if he ever smiled I think they would lighten up just a bit.   
“Professor…do you think I could stop by your office later? I was reading though the potion manual and was having difficulty with a particular potion, the mistworm one to be a little more specific”.  
“Fine. I’ll be in my office no later than six thirty”. And then he was gone. I can finally breathe, was I really holding my breath? Get a grip woman… I go back up to my dorm and constantly stalk my watch.  
I just know he wants me, I can feel it. I decide that to see if he really wants me I’ll come in way past his office hours but waiting is torture! Sid buzzes around the room, which only makes me even more anxious.   
I don’t even know what I’m going to say when I get there… I mean what do you say to someone this difficult?... Honestly back home no guy was this hard to get. I mean does he not know that I like him? I was pretty sure it was painfully obvious. I wanted him bad, ever since that short but hot kiss on Christmas Eve I haven’t been able to get the thought of him touching me out of my mind. I also wonder what kind of lover he would be, certainly not the sweet and overly lovey dovey kind but I just hope it’s not as cold as he is most of the time.   
UGH it’s only 7:30… Maybe I should go right now…  
At 9:15 I get up and freshen up my makeup and put on the new blouse my mom got me. It was dark red with a very deep V cut, so low that my cleavage makes a lovely statement. Ok…here we go  
As I’m walking to his office I think…how do I know he’ll be there? Ok shut up Celeste, gotta believe… I open the door after taking a deep breath and walk in. To my pleasant surprise he was there, sitting behind his desk. When I close the door behind me he looks up, slightly irritated.  
“Do you have any idea of what time it is?” he asks becoming more irritated.  
“I’m sorry Professor I got hung up grading papers, I wanted to make sure I finished them first” I say looking down, trying to be convincing.   
“Very well. I have set up the proper materials—“   
“—Honestly Professor… Who are we kidding? I’m just going to be straight with you, I’d give anything to kiss you again and…” I say coming closer, taking my finger and tracing it down from his neck to just above his genitals and before I grazed those he jolted back, “I have a feeling…that you want to, too”.   
“Ms. Parker if you can’t keep your thoughts to yourself then I’ll have to ask you to leave” he says quieter than I’ve ever heard him speak.   
“If I misunderstood that kiss then please, set me straight. But if it meant anything at all then please…kiss me again” I brush a piece of hair behind my ear and step back a little.   
“This is inappropriate” he says walking back to his desk.  
“Well fuck that sir, I don’t see how—“Before I can finish my sentence he rushes towards me and pulls me into a hard kiss and instead of one…or two..or three kisses, it just keeps going. My arms are held around him so tight that I can’t reach up and stroke his hair. His lips are warm and thin, he kisses hard but modest. I slip a little bit of tongue to test the waters and I feel his slide past my lips in return.   
Now we’re frantically kissing and trying to get closer and closer together until I feel him pick me up and lay me on top of his desk. This is so erotic that I can hardly think clearly; in the frenzy I feel his hand near my right breast and the other near the zipper of my pants. I feel instantly wet as his finger brushes down my thigh. As he starts pulling down my zipper I come back to reality. I can’t do this… I need to stop. I pull away from his kiss and catch my breath,  
“I can’t do this…not like this” I don’t know why I’m chickening out. What was happening was so intense that it had begun to frighten me. “Please…I need to stop”. I hope he doesn’t see the flicker of fear in my eyes. He nods and before he pulls away from me I reach up and hold his face in my hands, his eyes a deep shade of brown. I let my hands gently drop and he pulls completely away from me. I sit up and yank up my zipper; I fix the position of my shirt and hop down. I look over at him, embarrassed and wanting more than anything to just let him keep going.   
“Goodnight Professor…” I say from the doorway and then disappear into the night. 

 

 

Ok its 2am and I still can’t sleep, I feel so stupid… He was all ready for me and I fucked it up… It wasn’t that I’m inexperienced; I mean I had done it a few times in college and it was nothing to brag about. I lost my virginity stupidly at my first college party my freshman year at Fullerton and all the other times were with a boyfriend I had during my last year there. How would those boys compare to Snape? He was at least twice their age and I’m sure he’s had his share of lovers… UGH what’s wrong with me?   
I really do want it and I want it with him… How am I going to explain this to him? Will he even listen to me? Gosh I wonder what he’s thinking about me…   
4:31am… Still up and freaking out. Three more hours until school. At least I’m not in Snape’s class first thing, that’ll give me time to figure out what I want to say.


	14. Chapter 14

I muddle through my day in a zombie like state and fear runs up my spine as I enter Snape’s class. I’m a few minutes early and hopefully this won’t blow up in my face…  
“Professor?” I call out softly, no answer. I cautiously walk to his office and open the door. He’s sitting behind his desk and when I enter he stands up. “I really wanted to talk to you; do you think you could spare a moment?” He nods and sits back down. I stand in front of his desk and gather all my courage.   
“Sir I just wanted to let you know…That I… God I really don’t know how to explain this”, I rub my face and sit down”, “I really did want to keep going last night, it was just so intense and I don’t know…I kind of freaked out. I just don’t want you to think I changed my mind”. He said nothing and I began to worry a little.   
“Believe me…” I say coming over and leaning close to his face and tilting my head, I wait a split second for him to move away then I lay a soft kiss on his lips. I pull away and smile at him; he doesn’t look into my eyes.   
“Now, if you don’t mind I have work to do” he says getting up and going to the classroom. I can’t stop smiling. 

 

I was looking forward to February because of the 5th year O.W.L. examinations; the whole staff was off while the month long exam was going on. I had planned to go to a little town outside of Hogsmead for a few weeks; I needed a little break from everything. I wonder what Professor Snape is doing. The letters from my family had started to pile up and with all the work I had to finish before February I just didn’t have the time to write back. I miss them so much… At least spring break is only three months away and I’d be seeing them the whole time.   
I gave Sid to a house elf for the break and tonight I was going to finish up my packing. I have no idea what I’m going to do while I’m there but oh well I’ll just go with the flow.   
Out of nowhere a black owl with a cracked beak dropped a rolled up parchment on top of my head,   
“Gee thanks” I say rubbing my head and unrolling the parchment. 

Ms. Parker,  
I need you to straighten up my office and the classroom before vacation. Don’t be late.  
Professor Severus Snape 

The classroom is always clean I have no idea why he needs me to come in. It’s like he senses whenever I’m going out somewhere. Alright, let’s do this.   
I dust off test tubes and file all the papers on his desk and right before I leave he comes in to check in on me.   
“I’m all finished sir, anything else?” He shakes his head and begins up at the stairs to his office. “Sir I’ll be in Ceader Village for a few weeks but when I come back will it be safe to assume you’ll be here?”  
“A safe assumption indeed…”   
“If possible I’d like to see you”.   
“I’ll be busy Ms. Parker…” Now he’s inside his office.  
“Well if you change your mind, please send me an owl. I’ll be staying in the Gilded Prince Inn. Goodbye sir” I shove my hands into my pockets and walk out.

 

Ceader Village is very cute, like an old fashion Switzerland town and the Gilded Prince is decorated to match the rest of it There’s not much to do here, just a very quiet place to be. This is my first night here and I’m reading all the letters I need to answer. 

Dear CeCe,  
What’s it like there? Have you learned a lot? I hope you’re having a great experience and hopefully you’re coming home soon. We all miss you here CeCe. Have you met any cute British boys yet? (hehe). Things are going well here, dad is really enjoying retirement and we are going to Hawaii for our 30th anniversary. I love you and I hope you are doing well.  
Love,  
Mom

CeCe,  
Have you started wearing ripped jeans? I hear that’s still “in” style over there, remember how your uncle used to wear those? I really miss your Mac and Cheese… Mom doesn’t make them as good as you. Ok munchkin live it up ol’ bean!  
Daddy 

CELESEEEE….  
Ok first off I miss you… When are you coming homeee? Have I mentioned I HATE school?... Well I’m saying it again in case I haven’t said it enough. Leigh asked me to the prom! I know it’s not really my thing but it’s the thought that counts. Our SEVEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY is this month! Don’t you just LOVE February? I sure do. So how much Brit sex are you having? Details? Details?... Ok you better answer me this time or I’ll get the next flight here to kick your butt, mmk? Lovee yaa  
Jamie

Hey Celeste!   
It’s James, David and Star! What’s new? Did you get the Christmas presents? David transferred to NYU and he lives with us now. YAY. See you soon!  
James, David, and Star

Gosh everyone is all over the place… Why would David transfer to New York? I wonder if everything is ok over there. I finish all my long thoughtful letters to everyone and curl up in bed with a good book. Jamie sent me over The Great Gatsby; she had gotten really into the book since she was reading it for school.   
Halfway through the book I got bored, remembering that I liked the movie WAY better than the book. I recall falling asleep during the lecture…  
Around midnight I decide to get some air, while walking around I see and dark figure going into the Prancing Pony. Intrigued by this figure I follow it into the pub. Its dark inside, only slightly lighted by a few candles. Three patrons are drinking at the bar and the dark figure is in the very corner with a long glass filled with a dark red liquid. My foot steps are quiet as I approach the figure. I tilt my head to see the face of this mysterious man.  
“Um, Professor?” I say, confused.   
“Parker, isn’t it past your bedtime?” He lifts his face up from the darkness.   
“Very funny sir…But seriously, I thought you were busy”.  
“What I do during my free time is none of your concern…” He takes a small sip of his red drink.   
“Ok then what are you doing here?” Please say me, please say me, please say me!   
“If you must know I have an appointment with an old acquaintance, now if you will excuse me; he is behind you” he says looking over my shoulder, I feel hot breath on the back of my neck. I turn around to see a man at least 6’7, towering over me and looking hungry. His body and face covered by a thick coat and black mask.   
“And who is this delicious creature?” the man says, a low growl in his voice; almost seductive. The man reaches out, his hand covered in fur and finger nails long and pointed. I squeak as his finger nail scratches my face.   
“Dmitri this is my assistant, Ms.Celeste Parker” Professor Snape says out of nowhere. Dmitri bows low and reaches to my hand; he takes it and kisses it. I feel fur as he kisses my hand. Is he a werewolf?   
“Is…the lovely Ms. Parker joining us?” His deep Russian accent purring as he speaks.  
“No” Snape says a little too abrupt and loudly, “she was just leaving, weren’t you Ms. Parker?” I nod quickly and begin walking away, Dmitri blows me a kiss and I walk out the door. 

 

 

 


	15. Down boy

     After shaking off the completely strange night I had I woke up extra early to get some chocolate chip waffles. In the day time the little village was crowded with families and children. The ground is covered with snow and the reminders of Christmas still lingering in the air.

     The waffles were delicious and caked with whipped cream, after breakfast I drop off the letters to the little post office. Thinking I would have a nice time outside until my toes began to scream OMG I’M COLD. On that note I go back to my room and cozy up. Ok maybe spending two full weeks alone here wouldn’t be as great as I thought, it’s a bit lonely.

    Hours and hours of lying around my room I end up falling right back to sleep. When I wake up again I am starving and could use a drink with a little kick. I curl my hair and put on some make up then dress to impress. I slip on my uggs and trudge through the snow to the Prancing Pony. Their special is some sort of meatloaf surprise but I’m much too hungry to care what’s really inside of it. The bartender sends me a bubbling green drink and tells me the guy by the door bought it for me; I smile and take the drink with no intention of actually drinking it. Who knows what this stuff is anyways…

     I shove the meatloaf into my mouth and swallow; I pay the bill and walk quickly away from the creepy man who gave me that green stuff.

     Back in my room I strip off my coat and uggs and randomly there’s a knock at my door. Could it be?

     I open the door slowly, the suspense is killing me. I see a black coat!

     “Professor?”

     “No, actually. It’s me, Dmitri” my heart sinks but force a smile just to be polite. “May I come in?”

     “Uhm…yeah sure” I say, stepping back to let him in and closing the door. “I don’t mean to sound rude but, what are you doing here?”

     “I didn’t properly introduce myself last night. My name is Dmitri Valentine”.

     “Nice to meet you” still confused… “What’s your affiliation with Professor Snape?”

     “Old schoolmates from our days at the academy. Now how did a beautiful girl like you get stuck being Severus’ assistant? I’m betting they had to pay you extra” He laughed.

     “Actually I’m a general assistant so I don’t always work with him. So it seems like you’re here for something else…”

     “Ha! You’re sharp as you are gorgeous, you caught me. I was here to ask you out for drinks tomorrow night”. Woah woah woah woahhh…Did he really just ask me out? Seriously? Weird much?

     “Oh I’m sorry I’m actually seeing someone” I say faking an apologetic look.

     “Well if you change your mind, I’ll be at the Prancing Pony every night of this week”. I open the door for him. “It was nice seeing you again”. I close the door and sit on my bed. Where does this guy get off just showing up like that?

 


	16. Chapter 16

   For days I’ve been sitting around bored slightly tempted to go hang out with Dmitri. I’ve held out as long as I could. I mean…would it really hurt to just get a drink with him? As friends? Damn I must be really bored…

     That night I decide to go; just one drink and I’ll go back to my room…What the hell am I doing?...

     Sure enough, as he promised he was there and already had a drink waiting for me. Before I sit down I clear my throat and state my intentions.

     “Ok I’m just here as a friend. Nothing else, ok? I just don’t want there to be any misunderstandings”

     “Clear as crystal. Please, sit down” he gestures to the chair next to him. I sit down and brush my lap. “So tell me about you”.

     “What about me?” I say with a slight laugh.

     “Anything, everything”.

     “Well… as you already know I’m Celeste. I’m actually more curious about you… Are you a werewolf?” He smiles and leans in like he’s going to tell me a secret.

      “What do you think?” Saying it like its super obvious. I laugh and take a sip of the drink, mmm sour.

     “How did it happen?”

     “I was born this way. Parents are both very respectable Russian politicians”.

     “Wow, that’s pretty amazing. What do you do?” Taking another drink.

     “I’m a consult for a political strategy firm in Ireland”. He takes a long drink and changes the subject. “So I’m going to guess that you’re an American, why so far from home?”

     “Work of course but I’ll be going back home in the spring”.

     “Has anyone told you how beautiful your eyes are?   They are incredibly magical".  
     "Thank you". He's nice and all but this is still pretty awkward. Maybe it's time for me to go. “I should really be going now, it's getting pretty late".  
     "Please, just awhile longer" he says, smiling so wide that I see his canine teeth. I agree and sit back down. He pushes his chair closer to me and wraps his long arm around my shoulders. Um what is he doing? I feel him lean deep and whisper into my ear.  
     "There’s something I want to do tonight" he whispers heavily. I know immediately what he’s talking about and jerk away hard but he grabs me hard around my waist and holds me firm to his body. "I'm dying to see what you look like naked". His hand slides down to my crotch and I smack it away. "Oh feisty, I like that" he says then licks my earlobe hungrily. I try to get free from his grasp but he is too strong. His tongue runs down my throat and suddenly he's thrown the ground. In shock I look up to see Professor Snape.  
     "Stay away from her" he says coolly, stepping on Dmitri's clavicle.   
     "You were always a cock block Severus. Maybe you enjoy it because you never get any yourself. Trust me, she wants this to happen" Dmitri says then groans in pain as Snape steps harder.   
     "She clearly did not enjoy your company so I will tell you again, stay away from her".  
     "But she--"  
     "--say yes or I'll break it". I've never seen him like this. Is he really jealous? It's hot and kind of scary.   
     "Fine". Snape lifts his foot off him and he stands up. "For now". Dmitri walks out without another word.   
     "Professor..."  
     "We will discuss this in private". I lead him to my room and as soon as the door is shut he lets me have it.  
     "Do you have any idea how irresponsible that was?" he says yelling at me. How dare he talk to me like this?  
     "You are NOT my father. I don't need to run every little decision by you. I had it under control" I fire back.  
     "So I suppose sitting there and letting him fondle you was having everything "under control"?"   
     "How dare you.  I tried to get away, he was holding me down". Now I'm angry.  
     "What kind of witch are you?"  
     "Please leave". That's all I can say. It's true I could have used magic to get away but I've been mostly muggle my whole life and honestly I froze. I was scared and yes I am thankful for what he did but right now I'm too angry to admit it.   
     I don't have to ask twice and he's gone.   
 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! - NC-17

It’s been exactly a week since the incident with Dmitri and Professor Snape; I wish I could crawl into a hole and hide there, anything to get away from these feelings… I received a letter from Jamie, there had been some drama at school and she got into a fight, she won of course and the other kid got beat worse than her. Mom and dad were proud and just a little upset, since it was self defense Jamie didn’t get suspended…Thank goodness…

     I had been thinking about leaving early, it’s only a few days until Valentine’s Day and I’d rather be far away when the love starts flowing. No one wants to spend Valentine’s day alone and especially with Professor Snape in the area… He’s probably the Grinch of Valentine’s day and I would NEVER ask him to do something especially after what happened. He most likely thinks I’m a slut… even though I hadn’t done anything wrong and didn’t cause the situation in the first place.

     I haven’t taken a chance since what happened; I don’t want to see him. I even paid a hotel worker to bring me dinner a few nights just so I didn’t have to go out. At this point I was running out of excuses…and hotel workers to bribe so I suck it up and go to the store to at least buy some basics. I finish up my shopping and as I’m walking to the Café to get some coco I see Professor Snape coming out of the Prancing Pony, our eyes meet for a moment and I deliberately walk into the Café as if he was never there. Not like this is a punishment for him, he’s probably glad I’m ignoring him. He doesn’t even enjoy talking to me. I order some coco and a heavy, cold hand touches my shoulder. I swing around, surprised; it’s Professor Snape.

     “Where have you been?” He asks, as if I have been gone for weeks.

     “Where do you think?... Sir I’m kind of in a hurry so please”, I shrug off his hand and begin to walk away”.

     “I’m returning to the castle tomorrow, I suggest you do the same” he says adjusting his coat sleeves.

     “And why is that?...” I say indignantly.

     “I won’t always be around to clean up your mess, Ms. Parker”. Oh hell no…

     “I never asked you too and it’s not your job, I do appreciate what you did but that doesn’t give you license to act like you’re my father. Ask yourself did you do it out of obligation or because you were jealous?” Oh poneddddd…

    “I don’t have to answer to you".  
     "No but you will have to answer to yourself. See you around Professor". I walk away feeling especially proud of myself. I totally dominated that conversation. Ok I know he’s right that I should go back, I’m not happy here but I refuse to go just because he asked me too. I don’t want to look like I always do what he says.

     Then again…I’m so lonely…

     I cave in and go back to the castle; I miss my own bed and my incense. I flop down on my bed and sigh; it’s nice to be home. I turn on my lamp and rearrange my bed with more covers…It is so cold that I can barely start a fire. My gift doesn’t work very well on extremely cold days. As soon as I’m nice and toasty I fall deep into sleep.

     I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, I breathe heavily and it is so cold that I can see my breath. I clutch my covers when I hear a sound, a scrapping like footsteps… Someone is coming… I sit up and try to think of spells to defend myself but I can’t seem to think clearly. A large figure comes out of the south wall window. Omg omg omg…

     “Wwwho aaare yyou?” I stammer quietly, shaking under my covers.

    “I’m sorry I woke you” The voice growls.

     “Dmitri?” I say confused, is it him?

     “I needed to speak to you” He comes closer and I draw up my covers.

     “You couldn’t wait until it was at least light out?...You freaked me out!”

    “I had to wait until Severus left. I knew there would be no way I could see you again with him around”.

     “What do you mean? “Until Severus left”?” I tense up as he comes closer. I want him to leave, now.

    “He’s been outside your door all night”. Why would he do that? And better yet, how did he know I was here?...

     “What do you want? After what you did I would rather not see you again…” Be confident… just because he has big pointy teeth and claws…Yeah I’m dead meat.

     “I apologize for my behavior…It’s hard to control the urges during mating season”. Werewolves have a mating season? Ok well I guess that makes sense because they are technically part animal.

     “I accept… Again, what do you want?”

    “We are very similar, you and I. We hide behind our human forms and repress our true being”, my jaw drops shocked. He knows… “Don’t worry, as one mask to another I will keep your secret”.

     “How did you know?” Did Snape tell him?

     “Did you know us werewolf are color blind?” I nod slowly, “I can see very faint colors but those who possess those special abilities shine just a bit brighter than the others”.

    “What is my color?” I feel hypnotized and curious, sensing it he sits on my bed.

     “Red, like the fire that burns inside of you”. He takes my hand and I’m sucked into a dark memory.

     There’s a circle of hooded men, they are chanting and reciting spells. The night is dark and the moon red with blood. A young man, eyes covered and arms bound is dragged into the middle of the circle. His blind fold is yanked off and head pulled back to look into the eyes of the moon. The circle closes around him, the men in the circle chanting and holding their wand to the young man. He is screaming in pain and his skin smoldering. The circle parts the way for a tall hooded man in black, he kicks the young man on to his back.

     “Do you pledge yourself to the Dark Lord for as long as you are breathing?” The young man nods wildly. The dark hooded man brings the man to his knees and rips off his right sleeve. “I brand you with the blood of our Lord”. The hooded figure presses his wand to the man’s forearm and a mark begins to form. A skull with a snake. When he is finished the hooded man throws back his hood and revels his face. His hair is long and silver and face pale while sharp pointed features.

     “Brother Dmitri, rise and greet your new family’’.

     “Thank you, Brother Lucius…”

     I plunge back into the present and snatch away my hand, frightened to what I had seen. I quickly realize that he doesn’t know what I had seen.

     “Please rest my sweet Celeste”. He rises and goes out the window.      

     Ok what the hell just happened?... I’ve never been able to do that before, go into people’s memory I mean. I knew from my study of Dark arts that that mark is HIS mark, he must not be named. I can’t believe Dmitri is associated with him… That man is pure evil! I wonder if Professor Snape knows, certainly he wouldn’t tolerate his kind. As horrified as I am by who Dmitri really is I’m also curious about what he was talking about. I of course should never see him again…

     My attention quickly goes back to Professor Snape, why would he be outside my room like he’s guarding me or something? I wish things were normal and I wish that we could just have a normal conversation without me worrying about me saying the wrong thing or stepping over the line. I try to be as confident as possible but I don’t think I could handle one more rejection… It just hurts too much. I’d give anything to just say fuck it and run into his arms and have us just be. No hidden feelings and no who’s in control type of arguments. Just being…

     Is it possible that he feels that I rejected him that night a month ago? I could I be so selfish and not see that. All I do is complain about feeling put aside when he could be feeling that way too. Wow now I feel like a complete ass…I need to go to him.

     I jump out of bed, ruffle my hair and walk quickly to the one place I know he is most of the time. Before I enter his office I look down, I’m wearing my alma maters P.E shorts and a purple tank top. Wow way to look appealing Celeste. The one think I’m proud of is the way my hair looks, cute and fluffy and my face is looking pretty good too. I look good enough to talk to him. I push the door open slowly and step in; it’s dark except for one small light on his desk.

     “I thought you weren’t coming back this week” He says from within the darkness. Bull he knew I was here.

     “Sir I wanted to say I was sorry, for how I acted…” He turns on another light, it’s still dark but now I can see the silhouette of his face. I can see the outline of his chest; it’s flat and broad under his dark long sleeve coat. I wiggle my toes in nervousness; the ground is cold under my bare feet. “That night… I wasn’t rejecting you. I don’t want you to think I was. Truth is that I want you very badly”. I shiver in the cold and take a single step forward.

     “Come here”. His voice sends chills down my spine. I come forward, timidly until I stand right in front of him. His hand goes from the desk to his knee, as if he wants me to sit on his lap. I have to be mistaken though so I remain motionless. “Sit”. He says softly, Goosebumps rising on my arms and heat in my core. I sit on his lap; it’s much sturdier than I thought it could be.

     “Severus…” I say softly into his ear, “Please touch me”. I shake in anticipation as I feel his hand slide up my torso and under my shirt. We both grasp as his hand finds my nipple, I guess he’s shocked I’m not wearing a bra. He rubs my nipple with his pointer and thumb and goose bumps rise up around my nipple. I lean over and kiss his neck as he massages my breast; I lick from his ear to the base of his throat. His other hand is stroking my bare thigh and with every stroke his gets higher and higher up my leg until I feel him touch between my legs. I feel wet as he uses one finger to tease the outside of my vagina. I ache for him to reach inside of me. “Severus…” I beg silently. He obliges and reaches inside my shorts, pushing past my panties and slipping a long finger inside my core. I moan loudly at first contact.

     “What kind of girl gets wet for a teacher?” He says roughly into my ear while his finger pulses in and out of me.

     “A naughty girl” I gasp as I feel him go faster. I put my hand on his chest and take a deep breath. “Let me touch you”. I don’t get a yes or a no but he takes his hand out of my pants and I slide down onto my knees in front of him. I undo the top button of his pants and pull down the zipper with a grind. The bulge in his pants becoming more pronounced as I reach in and pull it from its hiding place.  
     And there it was, I held back a gasp when I completely uncovered it from his pants. I honestly didn't expect him to be so big, it was at least eight inches and the width was equally as impressive. I went to touch it when he put his hand on my shoulder and gently pulled me up from my knees. I slowly pull down my shorts and panties and let them drop to the floor; I step out of them and straddle him. Lucky for me the chair he's sitting in is sturdy enough for what we're about to do.   
     I part my legs, feeling hot wetness dripping down. I comfortably position myself above his throbbing penis and slowly slide the head inside. I hear a deep groan in his throat as he first enters me. When he relaxed I slide his whole member inside me hard, this time he moans out loud and I moan along side with him. He's so big that I feel myself being stretched. As I begin going up and down his cock gets hotter, he puts one hand on my left butt cheek and helps me thrust harder. I bury my head into the crook of his neck and wrap my arms around his shoulders.   
     I can't believe I'm having sex with Professor Snape. Well... I think it's a little late to be calling him that now.   
     We're both breathing shallowly until I push him as deep as it can go inside of me and he lets out a loud moan.   
     "Severus cum for me..." I whisper heavily into his ear. I want to make him come so badly, I want to know what it feels like. His hand drops away from my butt as I push down faster and faster until his moaning becomes more frequent and suddenly he puts his hands on my hips to slow me down. I feel his hot juices fill me up.  
     "Celeste..." he moans deeply and begins to twitch. I can't believe he said my name! Who am I kidding? I can't believe we had SEX! And it was good. I feel close to orgasm but too embarrassed to ask him to finish me.   
     I carefully slide him out of me and re-position myself on his lap. We both are still breathing pretty heavily but I can tell he's happy. With one hand he puts his penis back in his pants and buttons it up.   
     "That was incredible" I say with a big smile. And here it comes, like clock work...  
     "I have an early meeting with Professor Dumbledore". Which means, go away. Ouch... I knew it. I nod sadly and get up to put on my clothes. I feel too hurt to turn around to say good bye but before I even start walking away he grabs my shoulder and turns me around. He leans over and kisses me softly and unexpectedly I'm thrown into a memory.   
     It's in this very castle. Snape looks as he does now but even more solemn. He is waiting in the room of requirement. A beautiful redhead emerges and comes to him. Her hair is dark red and eyes a deep blue. She is tall and lips full.   
     "Lily..." He says with a smile, a smile I've never seen before. He comes to her and kisses her suddenly.   
     I'm ripped from the memory as our kiss breaks away. My heart completely crushed. Who is she? I begin to tear up thinking about how she made him smile by just being in the room. When was this? It definitely wasn't that long ago... A tear rolls down my cheek. She's the one he loves; I'm just a booty call...  
     "Who is she?" I say, another tear coming down my cheek.   
     "What?"  
     "You know what, save it. I can't believe I gave myself to you". More tears, I don't want to cry in front of him. I turn around and he grabs my arm to try to stop me.  
     "Celeste, please".  
     "Don't touch me". I yank out of his grasp hard and run out of his office.   
     I get to my dorm and fling myself onto my bed. I cry into my pillow, how could I let myself be so vulnerable in front of him? Before tonight I hadn't made love in almost a year. I feel so betrayed and crushed. What is eating me up inside even more is who this woman was.   
     I was up all night crying, by the time morning rolled around my eyes were deep red and puffy. My eyeliner smudged down my cheek and mascara caked around my eyes.   
     Was I over reacting? I mean it's not like we're dating. I'm trying to calm down but every time I think about it I begin to cry even more. Am I falling for him? You know... The L word. I can't possibly... You know what even if I was any chance I had was crushed when I saw the memory of him kissing that Lily woman. I'm curious to whom she is but at the same time I don't think I could handle the reality just yet. Funny today is Valentine's day...   
     Today I'm going to spend my day locked in my room. No contact with the outside world until valentines is over. Before I close my door a grey owl flies in and drops a few letters then flies out.

Hey CeCe,

By the time you get this letter it'll be Valentine's Day. I don't want you spending today in your room. I know it's hard to get out there but you'll feel so much better when you do. I love you. 

Mom.

     God she knows me waaaay too well...

Celesteee,

Ok I know for a fact you're sitting on your bed thinking about going back to sleep. DON'T. Go do something. Kiss a stranger! Get blitzed on candy! Anything. Just don't spend today alone. Seriously it's depressing. Wear the sluttiest outfit you have and get some wizard ass. Love youuuuu!

Jamie <3

Ugh... Again they know me too well. I don't want to go out... I'm too blue. I honestly don't think I would be fun to be around today. 

Jelly bean,

I know exactly what you're feeling. Can't let sadness ruin any chance you have at fun. I know it's hard to get out there and be social, sucks sometimes but you'll regret it if you don't. At least treat yourself to something sweet. Happy Valentine's Day 

Daddy 

     Ok now it's like they're psychic... Ok ok I get it, I'll go out... Now what to do... Guess I'm off to Hogsmead. 

     I'm not wearing my sluttiest outfit but to compromise with my sister I'm wearing my low cut pink top and skinny jeans with brown uggs. My hair is completely straightened and my makeup modestly done.   
     I greet the shrunken heads on the way in and order the usual. I sip my drink and watch the single men flock to every girl that walks in. I state out the window at the snow and when I turn my head back Dmitri is sitting across from me.  
     "You startled me" I laugh, putting my hand to my heart.  
     "I'm sorry; I didn't want to interrupt you. It looked like you were deep in thought".  
     "It’s alright" I smile and take a sip of my butter beer.  
     "What are you doing alone? Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend?"  
     "I don't have one".   
     "Oh, I'm sorry for asking".  
     "No it's fine".   
     "Maybe you should spend Valentine's day with me" he says, leaning back and flagging down the waiter.  
     "I don't think that would be appropriate". Oh god now I sound like him...  
     "We’re just two friends going out and celebrating national singles person day". I laugh, ok he's pretty charming.   
     "Ok, what does one do on national singles day?"   
     "Whatever we want".  
     "What do you have in mind?"   
     "First lunch at this little French bistro then a snowball fight and I'm thinking, we go to the city. An exclusive club just opened in down town London. Then to end the day we bewitch flowers to run away".  
     "Ok I'm in". It does sound like a lot of fun.   
     "If we leave now we can make our reservation" he smiles and looks at his watch.  
     "You planned this?" a little shocked but impressed at the same time.  
     "Don’t worry I understand that we're friends. You ready to go?"   
     "How are we getting there?" I can't picture him riding a broom...  
     "Floo powder". I follow him to the fire place and we both step in. He hands me some black powder and tells me to follow his lead.   
     "Douce fleur" he says clearly then disappears into green flame. I repeat what he said and I land in a restaurant. I pull myself together and he helps me up.  
     "First time?"  
     "Haha, yeah".   
     "Valentine" he says to the man at the front desk. We are seated outside and coffee is waiting for us.  
     “Have you ever had French cuisine?" he asks, noticing the look on my face when I see everything is in French.   
     "No, I don't even understand what most of this is".   
     "Ok do you trust me?" I nod.  
     "Let me order for you. Trust me you'll like it".  
     When the food comes I'm pleasantly surprised. It looks and tastes good.   
     After lunch we walk around and look into shops along the strip until around nine where we end up in an underground dance club called ThreeZ. I leave my coat with the coat check desk and follow Dmitri into the club. It's very loud with flashing lights and a bar completely lit with neon colors.   
     We danced together for awhile then went to the bar for a drink. Dmitri is eying a very busty brunette with a martini. I get up and walk up to her.   
     "Have you met my friend Dmitri?" I ask gesturing him to come over. She immediately smiles and holds out her hand, he kisses it and she asks him to dance. As they walk to the dance floor he says thanks over his shoulder. By midnight I had gotten him several numbers and a very frisky sexual interlude in the bathroom.   
     "Ready to go?" he ask. Even though a fine as hell Goth chick was practically grabbing his junk.  
     "Yeah sure" I finish my appletini and grab my coat. A little further away is a park. The grass is caked with snow.   
     "Let’s make a snowman" I say randomly. After putting the final touches on it we step back and admire our work.   
     "You should punch it in the face" he says smiling.   
     "What did the snowman ever do to me?" I giggle.   
     "The snowman represents "the man". You know that you want to punch the man in the face. It'll make you feel better".  
     "That’s ridiculous..."  
     "Ok fine, let the man repress you. I'm sure you don't want to break a nail" he says egging me on.   
     "Ok what the hell". I throw back my arm and punch the head right off the body.   
     "I said punch the man, not kill the man" he laughs, picking up the snowman’s head.   
     "I should be heading back. I'm pretty tired".  
     "Ok, we can apparate to Hogsmead". I hold onto his arm and then I find myself on my butt in the middle of Hogsmead.  
     "There’s gotta be a way to keep you from falling on your butt every time" he laughs, pulling me up. "Happy national singles day. Goodnight Celeste". Then he apparated.      
     I was back to my dorm by 3:15, exhausted from a pretty awesome day I fall asleep fully dressed.   
     


	18. Well...that's awkward

 I spent all yesterday sleeping off the fun I had the night before. Today feels like a good day to repeat yesterday. My parents already sent me a letter making sure I went out on Valentine's Day. 

Dear mom and dad,

     Yes, I did go out. I hung out with a friend; he's a werewolf cool right? Things have been going pretty well at school. Been working really hard in a particular class (the teacher is kind of a hardass). I miss you guys so much. Thank you for the plane ticket, I really need to see you guys. See you in April!

Celeste

     I decided to leave out the fact that I was practically in love with this "hardass" and that we had sex. Seems like something that would need to be said in person. Way less awkward. 

The rest of the week I spent exercising. Running around the dark forest in the fog. Thursday morning I started my morning bleacher runs in the stadium. After an hour I take a break and stretch in the middle grass area of the stadium. I lay on the grass, exhausted and sweaty. From the corner of my eyes I see someone approaching. Oh god I don’t want anyone to see me right now. I stand up and wipe the sweat from my face.

     “Professor?”

     “I think we need to talk”. I look awful and I really can’t talk about this right now.

     “Professor… I really just need time to calm down and think about this”.

     “I think there’s been a misunderstanding”.

     “Yeah there has”.

    “Is there any way we could talk in private?”

     “I’m busy later. When I want to talk I’ll come to you but, for now please let me think”. I walk away from the field back my dorm. I stand naked in the shower, letting the water rain down on me as I cry. I wish I could just let this all go…But I just can’t. The very idea of him kissing someone else makes my heart hurt. I need a distraction until I’m ready to have a mature conversation with him. I get out of the shower and sit in bed writing letters when I hear a soft tap on the window. It’s an owl with a letter. I open the window take the letter and pay the owl for his trouble.

Snowman killer

Hot Latin dance club just opened in Seri, you up for it? If yes then meet me there, use floo powder! The club is called Beso. See you tonight at eight!

Ps. This occasion calls for some spicy clothes!

Dmitri

And on the dot there’s my distraction. Ok I am going; I rush around the room trying to get ready. This is a red tank top, skinny jeans and sneakers night. I run out of my dorm to the nearest fire place and the only one open is the one in Snape’s office. I quickly throw the powder and say clearly, Beso. And BAM I’m there, this stuff is epic. I would never be late again!

    “Hey there you are!” Dmitri says walking away from a large group of girls.

    “I think you need to fire that owl” I laugh hugging Dmitri.

    “So you ready for this?” he says holding the door open for me. The Latin music is pumping in my ears and the smell of tequila fills my nose.

     “Hell yeah!” I say pushing past him playfully and strut into the room.

     “Let’s dance” he says grabbing my arm and pulling me into the middle of the dance floor. Everyone around us is feeling the beat.

     “I don’t know how to dance” I say looking around seeing how epic others were dancing.

    “You don’t need to, just shake your hips” he smiles, spinning me around. I shyly move my hips to the beat. “See you got it”. Not too long after I wasn’t embarrassed anymore.

    When I took a break I watched Dmitri dance salsa with an amazon woman with a rack like torpedoes. I laugh when she slaps him after he tried to cop a feelske. He sat with me at the bar and ordered a Jack and coke.

    “Damn these urges…” he chuckles taking a sip.

    “Yeah you and every teenager in the world” I say laughing at him.

    “Ouchhhh… You are so meannn…Ok I need to get laid, can you help me out?”

     “Woahh I don’t think so”

    “I meant could you help me get some tail?”

    “Oh! Haha, sorry. Yeah sure, anyone in particular?” I scan over the crowd of people.

    “Her” he says, his head cocking up in the direction of the girl with the pink fruity drink in her hand.

    “Done and done”. I put down my drink and approach the girl. As I get closer I see a large diamond ring on her left ring finger. Abort! Abort! I go back to Dmitri.

    “Engaged. What about her? The one in neon pink”. I look at his face, he’s thinking about it.

    “Definitely”. There’s my cue, I walk up to her and complement her sexy high heels then jerk my head to get Dmitri closer.

    “Dmitri this is Angie, she’s a yoga instructor” I say with a smile and they shake hands.

   “Ok sweetheart, I’m going to be very direct. I want you to come home with me, what do you say?” Ok god…He’s gonna blow it! She smiles, grabs her purse and says yes and they walk out the door. Guess I’m going home. I take floo powder home and end up in Professor Dumbledore’s office, its empty except for one person standing next to the window, looking outside.

     “I told you to stay away from him” a monotone Snape says, turning around slowly.

    “You followed me?... What is wrong with you? And I don’t do what you say. He’s really nice and I enjoy being around him”.

   “What is he to you…” It’s barely a question. He thinks I’m dating Dmitri…

    “A friend, that’s it… You shouldn’t be talking; you’re the one with another girl…” I was really hoping to not talk about this while I’m angry but it seems that it’s too late for that…

     “You didn’t see the whole memory”. He takes out his wand and pulls a silver strand from his head and drops it into the bowl. “Look…” I come over and look down, and then I fall inside.

    I come in right when he kisses her; I’m standing right next to them. When the kiss breaks she slaps him in the face and a tear runs down her face, lip quivering she spoke.

   “I’m married Severus…You know this”, she crosses her arms, “We will always be friends but I love James. Its time you acknowledged it” Snape, looking ashamed doesn’t meet her eyes but instead nods.

    “Why are you here?” he asks, with hurt in his voice.

     “I have a son”. His eyes snap up then his eyes fill with concern. “I need to protect my child, please talk to Dumbledore. I can’t let Voldemort kill my son”.

    “I will…”, he turns away and asks, “What’s his name?”

    “Harry’.

     I’m back in Dumbledore’s office, stunned into silence and unable to look at him.

    “You loved her”.

    “She didn’t love me back”. I feel like a huge asshole for assuming…God I should have let him just explain.

    “I’m so sorry…How did you meet her?”

    “As children, before we went to school. We were so close until she met…him”. He sits down, burdened with this secret.

    “You can’t help who you love. It was nothing you did, he was meant for her. I know it’s hard to watch someone you love with someone else; it rips you apart every day. Not a day goes by where you don’t think about him” I cross my arms to warm myself.

    “Him?” Oh crap did I say that? Am I confessing?

    “You. I know this isn’t the best time for this but I guess the cats are out of the bag… I think I’m…You know…falling for you…” I look away; I don’t want to look at the expression on his face.

    “You don’t mean that”.

    “I always mean what I say. Severus I’m falling for you…” Next thing I know I’m lying on the desk pantsless and taking his large member deep inside of me. For an half an hour he holds me knees to his chest and pounds hard and fast inside of me until he collapses. We straighten up and sit down to talk.

    “I think we need to have the talk” I say laugh.

    “What talk?”

    “The relationship talk. Are we…serious? Like I don’t want to be the buzzkill but I’d like to know what this is”. Greaaaaat you just fucking scared him off, gooood joooob assholeeee…..

     “We have to keep this between us. So, yes” He takes a deep breath like this is really hard to say, “We are…serious”. Is this for real? I’m honest to god ready to do him again just for saying that.


End file.
